Benefit assessment today!

Hiyyah Everyone

So today I had my benefit assessment to “prove” that I’m not well enough, that I’m not faking.

Why would you want to fake this illness. I know people do which is why we have to prove how poorly we are but they wouldn’t last a day in our shoes.

Having to fight suicidal thoughts everyday, having to self harm to be able to cope, not knowing how you are going to wake up. 

If your going to wake up happy or sad but it dosen’t matter what mood I wake up in because it switches so often and I have no warning and no control of it.

If I was well enough I would work! I have worked! I have worked my arse off then my mental illness became unbearable.

But as soon as I feel like I can work I will start looking. It may not be for a long while but when I am stable (i was going to say well but with this illness all I can be is stable) I will but right now I am very unstable.

I mean I just wish people who faked having mental health problems just to not have to work would actually have to experience what it is like just for one day!

Not every minute, every hour, every second of the 365 days a year we live. 

Like we have to do!

Everyone’s mental health problems are different but the people who pretend to suffer with it and I mean suffer is the reason why we have to fight so hard for the help we need! 

We basically have to prove we are poorly without having a visible illness… well apart from the self harm scars!

It just annoys me that because I look well with make up on (i look half dead without lol) people don’t understand how poorly I am.

Even the person who did my assesment (she was actually a nurse and not just someone who judges you for benefits) was worried about me and seemed shocked at what I have to go through daily with my borderline personality disorder, OCD, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and much more! 
I know it’s not just me who feels this way! Surely!


Let me know how you feel about this.

Thanks for reading

Enjoy the sunshine this afternoon!


My little ray of sunshine xx


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