So from the moment I woke up this morning I have felt absolutely sh*t not just mentally but physically too!
I am full of cold, my throat is sore and I am constantly dizzy but thats not all my brain is pounding and my thoughts are scary.
I think my mood has taken a turn for the worse but yesterday I was like a different person until in the evening time.
I went from feeling really good and happy during the day to feeling frustrated and angry from about 5pm and I just had no patients at all.
Luckily Milly slept through last night well she woke up once for a bottle but that was the early hours of this morning.
My head is so f*cked up I think it may be because Sunday we have our first Christmas dinner on Sunday at the Masonic lodge.
This is the first mason’s christmas dinner that we will have ever had without my grandad and I honestly don’t know how I am going to cope.
So I have decided that I am going to drink not too much because we have milly but on the sunday night she is staying at my mum and dads and we are going to meet some of my partners fellow football coaches for some drinks.
I just don’t know how to feel because my mood is all over the place at the minute one minute im super happy and super excited the next I just want to die and that is no exaggeration.
The only thing that is stopping me at the moment is this:
This made no difference to me about 2 months ago but now it has some impact because we now have a special bond but it’s still mot perfect and it is still something we are working on.
I can honestly say that my baby girl is the only thing that can get me out off bed on a day like this.
I mean don’t let that innocent face fool you tho because she is a devil really.
I’m not entirely sure this post makes complete sence and I apologise for that.
But the state my head is in I’m surprised I coukd put a sentence together.
Thanks for reading.
Have a good evening.