Christmas has arrived and it started with the coke truck!

Hiyyah Everyone 

So who has already trimmed there tree and decorated the house? Me!

To my American followers Happy Thanksgiving for yesterday! 

What got us really in the Christmas spirt was not just putting the Christmas tree up it was seeing milly’s face light up when she saw the Christmas tree.

Then this evening we went to see the coke truck in leeds and it was milly’s first time seeing anything like this.

She loved it! absolutely loved it!

She really loves lights especially twinkling or colourful lights.

I’m not going to lie to you all tho this was an incredibly difficult thing for me to do!

My mental illness was going crazy anxiety was through the roof  and I had a battle going on in my head. 

Should I stay …. Should I go…

I can’t stay….. no stay….

I really want to go…. no look at Milly’s face she is loving it.

There was more and it got worse but I stayed.

I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the support of amazing partner and my beautiful daughter.

My heart rate was through the roof but we got som pictures and went home! 

But…

Before this we had spent around an hour walking around trying to find the big red coke truck.

Which was made more difficult because not only did they have a Christmas market they had a fair too.

There was so many people it was awful. I can honestly feel my heart rate rising as I type.

When we found the coke truck we had to queue for 45 minutes but my partner said I did really well because it was awful but he said that I have to be proud.

We do need to do more things like this with Milly because I want her to experience new things and not be scared like her mummy.

In a way it does make me sad because she probably has missed out but I’m hoping that once I receive more help for my borderline personality disorder and extreme anxiety I will be able to take her to more places with my partner.

So we can do things as a family and all enjoy it instead of going somewhere and me just needing to go or being that scared I don’t enjoy it.

So I am really happy that we got to take her and although it was horrendous for me I will always have those photos to show to Milly.

Thank you so much for reading 

Goodnight xx

Our tree is just missing a star xx

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2 thoughts on “Christmas has arrived and it started with the coke truck!

  1. As hard as that was for you, as your husband said, that is a huge achievement and you do need to take the time to appreciate yourself. Although you were so consumed by anxiety, your determination allowed you to fight on-which is so rewarding! These photos are not only good memories to show to your daughter, but also reassurance for yourself to look back on 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

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