Photograpy challange day 23 

Hiyyah everyone 

I actually remembered to do today’s photography challange.

Today’s photo challenge was In your closet.

Well I didn’t do my closet because mine is a mess.

Or 

I did photograph my clothes and I just got a bit dryer happy and shrunk all my clothes.

Only joking.

I wish I had that many clothes.

This is inside Milly’s closet or wardrobe as I would call it.


Tomorrow’s challenge is Gratitude.

I’m not totally sure what this means so I will have to search it.

Thanks for reading 

Night 

Xx

I wonder if anybody would actually notice if I wasn’t here.

Hi everyone.

I was thinking about this earlier.

I know bad move..

Letting myself think.

I was thinking I honestly wonder if people would actually notice if I wasn’t here.

I think they would notice certain things like the housework not being done and that nobody is running around trying to keep them happy etc.

But I believe that the wouldn’t notice if me as a person wasn’t around.

I think they could just replace me easily and I would be forgotten about within a day.

They might realise that there life has got a little harder in someways but a little easier in others.

I do feel nobody would really care about me as a physical person they would just care about what wasn’t being done for them.

I know how sad that sounds.

But that’s not even the worse thing my brain thinks about this is mild.

Thanks for reading.

Have a nice evening.

Because this was a sad post I thought I would put a happy photo up.

Xx

Yesterdays Photography challenge day 22

Hiyyah everyone 

I did forget about my photography challenge yesterday but I had a terrible day yesterday.

Mentally I was just done yesterday so the last thing on my mind was to take photos.

This morning was a little different an Idea of what to do for yesterday’s challange popped into my head.

It was a true light bulb moment.

Like if I was in a cartoon a lightbulg would have come above my head.

It was honestly like that.

Yesterday’s photography challange was Clothing.

I didn’t take a photo of my clothing because milly’s is much cuter.

We all need a bit of cuteness in our lives.

Today’s photography challange is In your closet. 

So I will try do this later but we have another busy day.

That’s all my life is. stressful.

Thanks for reading 

Enjoy the bank holiday weekend.

Xx

Inside the prison I call my mind.

Hi everyone.

I feel like a prisoner of my own mind and it sucks.

I can’t escape from it.

I feel like I have a life sentence and I’m never going to be free from the prison in my head.

I have days where I feel like I broke out and I was free but that lasts for a short time then I’m caught and thrown back in prison again.

Feeling trapped in your own mind is the hardest thing to cope with.

Because nobody can see the hell I’m going through. 

All they see is what I want them to see.

People with mental illnesses are the best actor’s/ actresses.

My partner says I have to start making myself happy not worry about making other people happy.

But making other people happy is all I know how to do.

I have no idea how to make myself happy.

I also worry if I put myself first and try make myself happy I will loose people.

I’m scared to loose anymore people in my life because I don’t have that many left in it.

I understand where he is coming from but if I did that people would start saying:

Your so selfish 

You don’t think about anyone but yourself.

You’re so self centered 

You’re a bad mum 

So this is why I worry about it and never put myself first.. ever.

Thanks for reading 

Night 

Xx

Photography challenge day 21

Hiyyah everyone.

Although I have had a terrible day.

Especially Mentally.

I still remembered to do my photography challenge  (eventually)

I know! I’m pretty impressed too. Lol

I honestly only remembered as I was putting milly to bed.

I do think I only remembered because today’s challenge is Where you sleep and I was putting Milly to bed.

Now I  know the challenge is where you sleep and I very rarely sleep.

When I do this is where I sleep.

In our sleigh bed.

I absolutely love this bed.

It was one of the first things we bought when we moved into our home.

Tomorrow’s challenge is Clothing.

lets see what tomorrow brings.

Thanks for reading.

Night 

Xx

So far so bad!

Hiyyah everyone.
They say things can only get better.

Well not for me things can only get worse for me.

I’ve had an absolutely terrible day (mainly afternoon/ evening)

I had to look after milly all by myself because everyone was busy working, lee was training and coaching until 6.30pm.

 so I had no choice I had to do it alone.

I know to most parents this sounds like no big deal.

They do it daily.

Well I don’t. 

I never have.

It was a disaster.

First of all we had to take my fitbit back to Curry’s because after 3 months it stopped working, but the card I used to pay for it was lost or stolen.

I had also lost the recipt so I spent at least half an hour trying to find out my old card number.

I looked everywhere I could think of no luck.

Then I checked amazon and thankfully it was there.

So I was annoyed, frustrated and embarrassed but I got a replacement Fitbit Charge HR.

Then we dropped lee off at football and came back to see my support worker.. also a disaster.

I told her I had been suicidal for the past 3 days and she just made me feel worse.

I won’t go into what was said because it would be a long blog. 

I felt totally criticised about my house, my parenting, my illness.

I think she got out of the wrong side of the bed, but that’s not a good enough reason.

She was nice at first.

I don’t know what happened.

She left and Milly started screaming.

I tried to get her to sleep because I knew she was tired but she wasn’t having any of it.

She just screamed more.

I made her a bottle during this time the screaming became louder.

Gave her the bottle.

As she had been screaming so much she ended up making herself sick all over the sofa.

This wasn’t just sick it was projectile vomiting.

She finally fell asleep.

I gave her tea and a bath and then finally after a what felt like a lifetime it was time to collect lee.

The disasters did not end there tho I hot the pavement 2x on the way to collect lee.

Lee is now home and helping take care of Milly.

I am so lucky and thankful that I have such an amazing partner.

He puts up with so much but his is always by my side.

Thanks for reading 

Night 

Xx

Photography challenge day 20.

Hiyyah everyone 

So today’s photography challange was Seasonal.

Which at first I wasn’t to sure what this meant or what to take a photo of.

Then I decided on the perfect photo.

It’s summer.

We are in our Garden.

Playing in the sunshine.

As a family.


Tomorows challenge is where you sleep.

It’s an easy one but I better remember to make the bed and make it look pretty.

Thanks for reading 

Night all

Xx