We are finally beginning to bond!

Hiyyah everyone.

So a huge thing just happened.

Milly fell asleep on my chest cuddling me.

This has never ever happened in just under 9 months.

I know for most people this is something that happenes every day and it’s not a big deal.

For me this is huge!!!!

I feel quite emotional that this happened tbh.

Like happy but shocked that she fell asleep on me.

Usually she just screamed whenever I was around.

So for her to do this is amazing.

I’m proud of myself but I’m more proud of Milly for giving me a chance.

Thanks for reading and being a part of this special moment.

Enjoy your afternoon 

Xx

Healthy Competition 

Hiyyah everyone.
So me and my partner have a bit of a competition going on between 3 games on our phone.

We are both very competitive but it’s healthy Competition not crazy competition.

Well I suppose it’s sort of crazy competition because we are kind of both crazy. Lol

You may think we are crazy but I sometimes find it a good distraction because it takes you away from the real world.

In a way it is also nice we are playing the same games because we can help each other…

But not too much because we are both very competitive and we want to win lol.

I only play when I get chance because +everything else needs doing first.

So when Milly goes to bed around 8pm instead of making the most of it we sit and play games for 2 hours lol. (Sometimes longer)

We are playing 3 games:

  • Panda pop
  • Disney Magic Kingdoms
  • Farm Heros Super Saga

Panda Pop– You have to save baby Panda’s by popping bubbles by matching the colours . (Sounds easy trust me it is not!)❤❤❤❤

 I’m winning. I wasn’t at first and Lee never thought I could catch him. (So I had to prove I could and beat him ) 

Disney Magic Kingdoms- you build your own Disney Theme park. I love this game. Although I’m 23 and my partner is 29 so it’s enjoyable for any age. ❤❤❤❤❤

We are both currently on the same level but he has some characters I don’t have and they are higher levels and Vice versa.

Farm Heros Super Saga- You have to match the vegetables or fruit or whatever it tells you to get.              ❤❤❤

My partner is miles ahead of me on this game but I’m seriously stuck on the level I’m on.

I do like this game I’m just getting frustrated with it.

So far it is 1 all and a draw but that could all change.

So I decided to do a Hannah’s heart rating of how much I like  and would recommend the games.

❤= Rubbish

❤❤= playable

❤❤❤= enjoyable 

❤❤❤❤= very enjoyable 

❤❤❤❤❤= love it.
Who do you think is going to win? 

Thanks for reading 

Have a nice day.

Xx

Weekend Madness

Hiyyah everyone 

So I’m not sure if I told you but my partners brother is currently living with us in our spare room.

His mum kicked him out for reasons I can’t go into as it’s not my place to say.

He has been living with us for just under 2 weeks and at first it wasn’t too bad but day by day it’s getting more and more stressful.

He has a bad attitude towards me and when I tell him he is like a little child he just goes blah blah blah.

He is 27! He is 4 years older than me but he acts like he is 4 sometimes.

Don’t get me wrong he has helped me out like twice but I have done most of it and it’s getting too much.

Like I asked him not to put Milly’s clothes in the dryer because they shrink … what did he do…. put them in the dryer.

So yesterday my partners brother went out with his friends in Halifax and that’s totally fine but what’s not totally fine is not letting us know if he was coming home.

Last night was our 2nd night off in 8 months and we just stayed in because we are skint and it costs a fortune to have a night out in town.

So instead of getting a lie in we got woken up by my partners brother ringing absolutely hammered.

He was that hammered he couldn’t even read the bus times table.

So instead of getting up with Milly we had to get up at roughly the same time to go pick up my partners brother.

When we are supposed to get a break we never do.

Somebody always needs us.

Then my partner had to coach the under 13’s that he trains in a match.

Which we got there early  (I know shocking) and the match was at least 30 minutes delayed.

I suppose at least it’s sunny and not raining  (which is very unusual) 

I hope your all having a relaxing weekend unlike us.
Thanks for reading 

Xx

I’m shipping Milly back lol xx

Things can only get better… so they say anyway!

Hiyyah everyone..

I’m trying to get back into posting everyday.

But I feel like my day goes at 100 miles an hour.

I don’t get a break even when I do get a physical break I don’t mentally because I’m just thinking about everything else.

I honestly can’t describe to you how I’m feeling I just feel like I’m never going to get better.

Although people keep saying it will.
I can’t believe them because I’ve been so poorly for over 3 years now it’s not got better…

 Actually I feel it’s got worse.

I just feel I can’t take anymore.

I know it’s not going to take much before I just breakdown.

Then maybe I will get the help I’m crying out for.

Thanks for reading.

Night 

Xx

I’m back !

Hiyyah everyone 

Sorry I’ve been a bit M.I.A recently but there has been so much drama in my life recently I haven’t had time to post.

Does it ever end?

I mean Seriously does it ever end?

I’m just drained.

Tired no make that exhausted.

I feel sh*t.

I look sh*t.

I’m expected to do everything.

Not just look after Milly.

Not just cleaning the house.

Not just doing the Washing.

I do everything and it’s too much I’m so stressed I cant even think.

People say

 It will get done.

I will help you.

I PROMISE!

It never gets done unless it’s done by me.

I very rarely get help.

Promises always get broken.

I’m even more stressed because my partners brother is now living with us.
Long story short his mum kicked him out.

So because he had nowhere to go we took him in.

So thats added to the mess.

Ive been struggling really badly looking after and being with Milly. 

I’ve just gone on a really bad downward spiral.

Everything is too much.

It just feels like it will never end.

I’m not only physically exhausted I’m mentally exhausted.

It’s exhausting fighting a war in your head daily.

I can’t fight anymore.

I can’t look after milly alone.

I tried on Thursday I nearly had a breakdown.

Milly just screams whenever she is around me.

And

It breaks my heart every single time.

I’m just a completely broken person.

On the outside I’m a shell of a person but I smile..

On the inside I’m dead.

Thanks for reading 

Night 

Xx

Our baby can finally sit up by herself.

Hiyyah everyone.

So if you follow me on any form of social media you will already know this.

Milly sat up all by herself on Wednesday in the bath ( I know! Random right?)

Then on Thursday she sat up whilst I rolled her little football to her.

It has taken her quite a while to learn to sit up and we put in a lot of effort to teach her and show her.

But…

It was so worth it when she finally did it.

She is finally starting to roll over both ways now too so she is coming on a lot now.

I think she was just taking everything in and now she has done that she wants to explore.

The only problem with that is she doesn’t know how to crawl yet. 

So she gets in the crawling position but she either just lays there and crys or she just dives forward. (Which is pretty amusing)

At all times we make sure she is safe or try to anyway but babies do have accidents.

As new parents we are learning all the time.

My child may have only just learnt to sit up but I’m not worried because she did it.

She is tiny so she may take longer to be able to do things but she still does them.

All children are different and just because a chart says they should be able to do this, this and this by now is unnecessary pressure on both the parebt and the child.

Thanks for reading.

Have a good evening.

Xx

Lazy Sunday 

Hiyyah everyone.

Well when I say Lazy Sunday I mean as lazy as possible when you have a nearly 8 month old baby girl.

I haven’t got dressed out of my PJ’S all day but we never get a relaxing day.

Well usually when we try plan a relaxing day something bed happens that we have to sort out.

Does this sound familiar?

But so far we have watched well sort of watched ( I’m struggling to concentrate at the moment ) 2.5 movies

We watched 2 movies and I am currently watching one but I will have to turn it over in a moment for my partner to watch the England match.

I know how shocked you all are about this lol.

But that’s the sacrifice you have to make when you have a football mad boyfriend.

I don’t actually mind anymore I used to but I think I’ve been brainwash. 

So yeh sorry this post wasn’t very exciting it’s just a lazy day.

Thanks for reading.

Enjoy your afternoon.

Xx